I’se da b’y dat copies de text and I’se da b’y dat pastes her! I’se da b’y dat mockups da page and takes it home to Liza. Hip-yer-partner Sally Tibbo! Hip-yer-partner Sally Brown! Fogo, Twillingate, Morton’s Harbour, All around the circle! Sods and rinds to cover your flake, cake and tea for supper! Cod fish in the spring of the year, fried in maggoty butter Hip-yer-partner Sally Tibbo! Hip-yer-partner Sally Brown! Fogo, Twillingate, Morton’s Harbour, All around the circle!

Buddy missed ‘er. Put da gun on da truck, ‘ad ‘er in da sites and pulled da trigger. Missed ‘er by a mile. Goin’? She wudden’t goin’ now I know.

Canada’s worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Newfoundland. Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

One day a Newfie goes down to the village carpenter and requests a wooden crate that is 1 inch tall, 1 inch wide and 50 feet long. When the carpenter asks what he needs it for, the Newfie replies “The wife snapped her clothesline the other day, and I have to send it to Toronto to get it fixed.”

Lukey’s boat is painted green, Ha, me boys! Lukey’s boat is painted green, it’s the prettiest boat that you’ve ever seen. A-ha, me boys a-riddle-i-day!

A drunk Newfie was stumbling home one day when he got lost and found himself in the bush. He fell to the ground and noticed a lamp. He picked it up, and rubbed it, and out came a genie. “You have three wishes, choose them wisely.” says the Genie. The Newfie, looking down at his last, and empty, bottle of beer, smashes it on some rocks and says, “I want a beer that will never run out.” A bottle appears in front of the Newfie. He takes it, looks at it, and downs it. He looks at it again, and to his surprise, it was still full. The Newfie being very content starts walking away. “Where are you going,” asks the Genie, “You still have two wishes left!” “Well,” replies the Newfie, “Give me TWO more of these!”

I was born down by the water, it’s here I’m gonna stay. I’ve searched for all the reasons why I should go away. But I haven’t got the thirst for all those modern day toys so I’ll just take my chances with those saltwater joys.

Boil up da moose b’y, an we’ll have a scoff & scuff. Sing out to ‘em for da feed or I’ll get out me split an crack ya on da arse, ya little frigger!

When I was growing up I always used to hear mom say, “one of these days you’ll wish your cake, dough!” I used to tease her and say, “cake was never dough, it was batter”

The Newfie Stud Bob liked to frequent the Newfoundland beaches, but was never able to attract the girls. He decided to ask his friend George the lifeguard for advice. “It’s dem big baggy swimming trunks, my son. Dey’re years outta style. Yer best bet is to grab yeself a pair of Speedos – about two sizes too small, and drop a fist-sized potato down inside ‘em. I’m telling ye, man…ye’ll have all de babes ye wants!” The following weekend, Bob hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick! Bob went back to George the lifeguard and asked him, “What’s wrong now?” “Lard-Tunderin’ Jeezus b’y!” said George, “the potato goes in the front!”